So You Bombed How to Move on After a Bad Presentation at Work

So You Bombed How to Move on After a Bad Presentation at Work Have you ever had ahorribly embarrassing public speaking experience? Were you mortified when you went blank in your high school French class when asked about Madame Thibeaults small dog?Did you give a presentation at work and, when you looked out at the audience, become uncomfortably aware that most people were on their phones?Did you feel small, unseen, and unheard?Whatever the circumstances, that painful memory may now be holding you back from great opportunities. As a public speaking coach, Ive had many people come to me for help in recovering from bad public speaking experiences. Whether youre haunted by a bad presentation from last week, two years ago, or even decades in the past, there is hope.Just because something welches true in the past doesnt mean it will be true in the future. At one point in your life, you couldnt read. Now you can. You dont currently identify with that version of yourself who was unable to read, do you?Or how about learning to ride a bike? If youre like me, you wiped out a bunch and may even have scars on your knees and elbows as mementos from that time. But you pushed through, and now you are a competent bike rider. You can choose to relate to your public speaking wipeouts in the same way.Stand-up comedians view totally bombing as a rite of passage. They accept that it will happen, and many feel that bombing actually makes them better. If you adopt that same mindset about public speaking, you already have that valuable experience under your beltUnpacking Your NarrativeDuring and after intensely negative experiences, we often create narratives that extrapolate from what happened. Check out this exampleI was at my very first job. My anfhrer asked me to give a presentation to the team. I had done some presenting in college, but I never really felt comfortable or knew how to prepare.In a college class, if I screwed up, it only affected my g rade, and I knew I probably wouldnt see any of my classmates again after the end of the semester. If I messed up at the team meeting, however, my boss would see and so would my colleagues. I would definitely have to face them again.I worked really hard on my slides and put a lot of information on them so I would always know exactly what I was going to say. The conference room was really packed, and I had to walk up to the front. I could feel everyone looking at me. I was so nervous. I could feel my face turning red and my heart pounding. I looked out at the group and saw that people already looked distracted or bored, like they didnt want to hear what I had to say. A few of them were on their phones.And then there were tech issues. My stupid slide deck wouldnt open. There was something wrong with the file. My boss told me to just give the group the gist of what was in the presentation. I was so overwhelmed. I faced the room and went blank. I suddenly couldnt remember any of what I had prepared. I uttered a few awkward sentences, said Im sorry, and then sat back down. I knew right then that I never wanted to be the center of attention like that ever again. I clearly wasnt good at it.Lets dig deeper. This story does contain facts like I never really felt comfortable or knew how to prepare, I worked really hard on my slides, and there were tech issues. However, not everything in this story is a fact.Lets look more closely at this sentence I looked out at the group and saw that people already looked distracted or bored, like they didnt want to hear what I had to say. We usually have no way of knowing whats really going on for our audience members emotionally and mentally. Their expressions probably have absolutely nothing to do with us This statement, then, is not so much a fact as it is a narrative the person created in their own head.For more expert career advice, check out the latest issue of Recruiter.com MagazineIn my mind, the most important sentence to tak e note of is I had done some presenting in college, but I never really felt comfortable or knew how to prepare. This is what set the demoralizing experience in motion. People are often expected to know how to present and handle nervous energy even though theyve received very little guidance or training on public speaking. Having compassion for yourself in this situation will help you abflug letting go of these painful memories.Lets also address the last two statements of the story I knew right then that I never wanted to be the center of attention like that again. I clearly wasnt good at it. This is where we can see the person has totally shut down their willingness to try. The person is completely intolerant of not being good at something even if they never received adequate guidance or training OuchStatements like I clearly wasnt good at it serve as protective mechanisms. It feels terrible when our peers see us lost and vulnerable. In response, our brains try to do everything the y can to keep us from feeling that way ever again. However, these protective mechanisms often become prisons. We end up stuck, watching the world go by.If youre feeling this way, its time tomake a jail break. Lets look again at this story and create a new narrative, one where the person in question learns to be compassionate toward their own situation1. I had done some presenting in college, but never really felt comfortable or knew how to prepareHow was I supposed to know how to prepare if no one had ever taught me how? Of course this was challenging.2. I worked really hard on my slides and put a lot of information on them so I would always know exactly what I was going to sayI did put a lot of effort into the slides, and I need to give myself credit for that. Going forward, I also want to put time into rehearsing so I can find ways to manage my nervous energy. Practicing will also help me understand my ideas on a deeper level. Then, if there are tech issues, Ill still be able to s hare my thoughts.3. I looked out at the group and saw that people already looked distracted or bored, like they didnt want to hear what I had to say. A few of them were on their phonesTheres no way I could know what people were thinking or feeling. They have full busy lives of their own with plenty of ups and downs. Come to think of it, I usually jump on my phone, too, when I am waiting for something to begin. It doesnt have anything to do with the speaker. I just want to see whats going on in my world.4. I was so nervous.I was so overwhelmedOf course I was nervous and overwhelmed I didnt know what I was doing5. I faced the room and went blankI had no idea how to manage my nervous energy. I think thats why I went blank. That makes sense6. I knew right then that I never wanted to be the center of attention like that ever againI totally understand my vow to hide. A very normal reaction But, if I spent time learning how to prepare and manage my nerves, I could likely become more comf ortablewith public speakingover time.7. I clearly wasnt good at itOf course I wasnt good at presenting I didnt have any guidance or experience. But with training, instruction, and encouragement, I could become better. I did learn to speak, eat, say please and thank you, ride a bike/play sports/play an instrument. It took time, but I did it. I can learn to do this, too.After a bad public speaking experience, unpacking what happened and the accompanying arbitrary narrative of what it means for the future is a very helpful way to recover. Its freeing to apply compassion and logic to the details. Adopting a new perspective on the matter can help you to heal, let go of the bad experience, and move forward.Amanda Hennessey is the founder ofBoston Public Speaking,San Diego Public Speaking, andBoston Acting Classesand the author ofYour Guide to Public Speaking Build Your Confidence, Find Your Voice, and Inspire Your Audience.